Taking a break from my usual book blog to talk about something weighing heavily on my heart today. November 7th, 2000, I lost my mother to cancer. She was 47. I don't know if it's the fact she would've been 63 next week or the fact an author friend recently lost his mother, but last night, I dreamed my mother spoke to me.
The actual dream is a little foggy, but in the dream, I spoke with a woman who had died before she crossed over. I wondered if I could ask her a question but changed my mind.
"She's not upset at you," the woman said. "She understands."
Tears immediately sprung to my eyes. Even now writing it. Before my mom had died, she and I got into a fight. She had been sick for a long time but had refused to go to the doctor so no one knew what was wrong. I was 18 and thought she was going to be fine. My mother was the strongest woman I knew. What bad could happen?
I wanted her to go to the doctor. That's what we fought about. I told her she was being selfish and seeing her like this was hurting me. I slammed my bedroom door and swore I wouldn't step foot outside for the rest of the night. My last thought before going to sleep later was that I should apologize. "I'll tell her in the morning." was the last thing I remember before my grandmother woke me up several hours later with the bad news.
Mothers and daughters fight all the time, especially at that age. But it ate me up that I never got the chance to apologize. She probably had already forgiven me before my head hit the pillow that night. But I never got to say the words.
The woman in last night's dream assured me again: my mother understood my feelings. She was happy and no longer in pain. She was so proud of me and the books I've written. "Especially the sci-fi series." I was reassured my worries would soon be in the past. Even was told in two months, my financial troubles would go away. I have long believed our loved ones don't really leave us and they do find ways to let us know things. I firmly believe last night, my mother spoke to me in my dream. My heart is so open and raw right now. It's a happy hurt.
Dreams are powerful things. It's not something I take lightly. Of course, it could be my brain telling me what I want to hear, but there was so much comfort in the woman's voice. I choose to have faith. I believe.
Never go to bed angry. Don't leave things unsaid. You may not get a chance to say you're sorry. I would give anything to tell my mother one more time I love her.
She knows, but it still doesn't take away the fact it went unsaid. Maybe now the hole in my heart can start to close.
All my love.
Friday, September 9, 2016
Thursday, September 8, 2016
Gethyon by Pippa Jay cover reveal!
Blurb:
Abandoned. Hunted. Out of control.
Gethyon Rees had always felt at
odds with the universe, and hoped for an escape among the stars. But
discovering he has the ability to cross time and space with just a thought
brings more problems than it solves: a deadly bounty hunter who can follow him
anywhere, the unwelcome return of Tarquin Secker—the mother who abandoned
him—and an ancient darkness that seeks him and all those with his talents.
When an unforgivable act sets him
on the run, it’ll take more than his unearthly powers to save his skin and the
lives of those he cares about. It’ll take a sacrifice he never expected to have
to make.
A science fiction adventure novel
previously published by BURST (Champagne Books), and part of the Travellers
Universe. A 2014 SFR Galaxy Award Winner for Most Awesome Psychic Talent
and a 2015 EPIC eBook Awards finalist in the Science Fiction category. Also now
includes the SF short story The Bones of the Sea.
“With colorful worlds full of
nuance and dimension, characters that walk off the page, and themes that anyone
who has been either parent or child can relate to.” J.C. Cassels, author
of The Black Wing Chronicles series
“This fast-paced, gripping ride
zips through time and space, love and loss, rebellion and acceptance.” Anna
McLain, SFR Galaxy Award judge
Pre-order Links:
Smashwords https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/659767
Print coming soon!
Excerpt:
“Hello, there.” The bright voice
snapped Gethyon from his brooding, and he glanced up. A girl with silver skin
and black tiger-stripe markings smiled down at him, her crop of red hair almost
blood-colored in the twilight.
He lifted a hand in silent
greeting.
“You’re Gethyon, aren’t you?
Gethyon Rees?” Despite the blandness of his welcome, she hunkered down into the
sand, wiggling her backside in an effort to get comfy, with a crooked grin on
her lips. Unease coursed down his spine at her expression. It reminded him all
too closely of another face, one with hair a paler shade of auburn and sapphire
eyes.
He nodded confirmation.
“I’m Jinxuri Chei-har of the
Veen,” she said.
This time Gethyon couldn’t
restrain a smile. “That’s some name.”
The girl shrugged. “I didn’t
choose it. But you can call me Jinx, if you like.” At that, she thrust out a
hand, and after a moment, he took it.
Sudden pain splintered through
his arm into his chest, and he yanked his hand free to massage the feeling
away. He stared at Jinx, but she just continued to grin at him.
“Are you a friend of Dephon’s?”
he asked, with a trace of suspicion. Was this something his old rival had set
up to keep him occupied?
“Not really. I heard there was a
party, so I stopped by.”
“You’re a gatecrasher?”
Jinx leaned forward and whispered
in conspiratorial tones, “Not going to give me away, are you?”
Gethyon shook his head. Why
should he care? It wasn’t his party.
She leaned back and eyed him
carefully. “You don’t seem very happy. Aren’t you enjoying yourself?”
Gethyon shrugged.
“Not your kind of thing, huh?
I’ve been told you’re a bit of a genius with technology.”
“Who told you that?”
“Oh, I hear things. I’m good at
it.” She smiled. “You live with Professor Rees, don’t you? Heard a lot about
him. Well-respected man. Your grandfather, yes?”
“Yes.”
“What about your parents, what do
they do?”
He stiffened and drew back. “Why
do you want to know about my parents?”
Jinx held up her hands. “I’m just
trying to make conversation.”
A fragment of guilt squirmed in
his stomach. Give her a break. Not everyone is out to get you. After
all, living with a grandparent was going to make new people curious. It wasn’t
the norm. “My father was killed in an explosion. My mother…travels. A lot.”
“I’m sorry about your father.
That’s kinda harsh. But your mother sounds fun! Don’t you get to go with her?”
“No.”
Jinx gave him a sympathetic look.
“Bad choice of subject?”
“Yes.”
She chuckled. “You’re really
making me work for this conversation, Geth. What would you like to talk about?”
“Where are you from?”
She paused as if she hadn’t
expected such a question. “No one place,” she murmured. “I travel a lot too.”
Bio:
After spending twelve years working as an Analytical Chemist in a
Metals and Minerals laboratory, Pippa Jay is now a stay-at-home mum who writes
scifi and the supernatural. Somewhere along the way a touch of romance crept
into her work and refused to leave. In between torturing her plethora of
characters, she spends the odd free moment playing guitar very badly, punishing
herself with freestyle street dance, and studying the Dark Side of the Force.
Although happily settled in the historical town of Colchester in the UK with
her husband of 22 years and three little monsters, she continues to roam the
rest of the Universe in her head.
Pippa Jay is a dedicated member of the Science Fiction Romance Brigade,
and Broad
Universe, blogging at Spacefreighters Lounge,
Adventures
in Scifi, and Romancing
the Genres. Her works include YA and adult stories crossing a multitude of
subgenres from scifi to the paranormal, often with romance, and she’s one of
eight authors included in a science fiction romance anthology—Tales from the SFR Brigade. She’s also a double SFR
Galaxy Award winner, been a finalist in the Heart of Denver RWA Aspen Gold
Contest (3rd place), the 2015 EPIC eBook awards, the 2015 RWA
LERA Rebecca (2nd place), and the GCC RWA Silken Sands Star Awards
(2nd place).
You can stalk her at her website, or at her blog,
but without doubt her favorite place to hang around and chat is on Twitter as @pippajaygreen.
Website – http://www.pippajay.co.uk
Blogs –
Adventures in Scifi - http://www.pippajay.blogspot.co.uk
Spacefreighters Lounge - http://www.spacefreighters.blogspot.com
Romancing the Genres - http://www.romancingthegenres.blogspot.co.uk/
SFR Brigade - http://www.sfrcontests.blogspot.co.uk/
Twitter - https://twitter.com/pippajaygreen
Pinterest - http://www.pinterest.com/pippajaygreen/
Amazon
page - http://author.to/PippaJay
Newsletter - http://blogspot.us4.list-manage2.com/subscribe?u=e5e8a4dfebcfde471a95ed3f8&id=d7764e9767